I never thought my Grandma would convert to Islam in her old age. She's been the the most devoted Christian... but humans know nothing about fate nor destiny. So when she made her decision, I was pretty surprised.
It is true that a Muallaf (a newly Muslim) seems to be more passionate in learning everything about Islam and that happens to my Grandma. Yes, happens. She's still in her excitement in exploring Islam. Knowing this, Mom had an idea to bring Grandma to the Holy Land. She asked me whether it's a good idea to make her travel abroad and I said, "she has the momentum and that's a good advantage. She's in her happy mood these days and full of excitement in studying Islam. Hajj will not be her option."
So Mom approached Grandma and she's instantly agreed about the idea. Tomorrow, we will travel together for our very first Umrah trip. I wasn't born Muslim, I have no idea how to address myself. A Muslim or a Muallaf? Mom was born Christian and embraced Islam when I was 7 or 8. I then embraced Islam, too. So did my siblings. Mom and Dad had the chance to go Hajj a few years ago. She started to wear hijab since.
Most people said that whatever sins you made in life, you will face the consequences in the Holy Land. Well that sounds terrifying, especially when you're a sinner. I am a sinner who's probably gonna sin again. As a normal human being, of course I am terrified. Also, I don't wear hijab, which is an act of obedience to Allah and His Messenger. I will wear hijab, eventually.
Contrary to my anxiety, I feel very calm right now. I hope my calmness will help me a week ahead. Bismillah...